Being a new dad and parent is HARD. The Hour Of The Dad is essentially the witching hour like on NFL RedZone. It's where anything can happen. Normally between 3-5 in the morning.
My son got a shot yesterday and then last night he would not sleep. Granted he's 3 weeks old but he did not fall asleep for more than 30 minutes for 6-7 hours. I was up til 4:30 this morning with him.
He would cry, we would feed him, change his diaper, hold him, swoddled him, would sleep for 30 minutes then start crying again. It was frustrating going thinking that I wasnt fulfilling my job as a father.
Then those thoughts creep into my head, "am I a good dad?" I grew up without a father and my biggest fear is ending up like him. Then my mind starts racing.
That wasn't the worst part of the night.
My wife felt like she was doing something wrong or was a bad mother because we couldn't figure out what was wrong. We were both frustrated and exhausted. I told her to go to bed around 1am and I took the shift.
It's difficult to manage your emotions while also helping your partner manage there's. It's a balancing act but communicating and explaining expectations of each other while reassuring each other is so important.
The hardest things about being a new parent is making sure your child is getting everything they need and feeling like you are doing a good job, but also making sure your partner is feeling fulfilled and doing a good job as a parent. My wife is the best mom in the world. It was a terrible feeling seeing her feel like she wasn't a good enough mom. That's the last thing I want for her.
She wanted to stay up with him to prove she could do it and get him to settle down, but I could see she was beyond exhausted. She was getting frustrated and she was taking everything on herself. I took my son downstairs and let her sleep.
There is no point in both parents being tired.
He eventually settled and slept for a few hours and is getting back on track. But seeing my wife upset was the most difficult thing to see because I want to make her feel like a great mom all the time and it's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies.
Parenting is hard, but don't forget that you are in it together with your parent to make them feel like a contributing and good parent.
We are running on about 3 hours of sleep but I wouldn't change it for the world.